This episode of Pandoras Box talks about Core Shame and Narcissism.
One thing that is completely off limits to narcissistic people is to talk about how you feel about their bad behavior. This is sure to bring about the wrath of the narcissist, due to their core shame. If you are a product of a narcissistic family, relationships or society in general, you will have learned to sweep feelings of pain, disappointment, anger and hurt under the rug because these things are not safe to talk about.
In this episode of Pandoras Box, Kaleah talks about how the health and healing of our society is dependent upon our being honest with and communicating our feelings. Even in the face of narcissistic rejection and abandonment. Holding a narcissist accountable or communicating uncomfortable feelings will trigger core shame. Since narcissism is a defense against shame, they will need to immediately offload their shame onto you. Being masters of projection they set out to convince you that you are at fault for having and communicating your feelings.
We have to learn to stand up for ourselves and own our feelings regardless of how they will be perceived by others. Our healing and the healing of society depends upon this.
The deeper truth is that in order to have deeper connections with people, we need to be authentic, and we can’t be authentic if we are pretending. When you pretend that you are not feeling what you are feeling, you are putting up a wall between yourself and the other person. Emotional honesty needs to be a part of every healthy relationship.
However when dealing with Core Shame and Narcissism, sharing your feelings and reality will never be acceptable because you can’t ever really get close to a narcissist. Although it may not seem like it in the beginning, in the end you will find that the relationship was very superficial. There was never really any emotional depth or authenticity.
It is best to accept the limitations of a narcissistic person and move on to relationships where you can have emotional depth and authenticity. These are truly the rich and rewarding relationships most of us seek.
