Most people I’ve worked with coming out of Narcissistic abuse have some form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. But they may not be aware this is what is going on. They may have a lot of the symptoms of PTSD but not realize they are suffering from PTSD, rather than just a bad breakup.
You can be kept “on edge” while in the relationship and have some trauma responses to the things happening while you are in it, but it is when the relationship ends that most people feel the onslaught of PTSD symptoms. And this is because PTSD is Post Traumatic, which is “after the trauma.”
During the relationship you may be experiencing trauma but the symptoms might be masked by denial. Denial is a refusal to accept something as true and also a way of suppressing symptoms. While in a relationship with someone who is narcissistic, you might continue to tell yourself that person loves you and cares about you, even though their behavior is telling you otherwise. You may be telling yourself that person will change and be who you always believed them to be.
What most of us don’t realize when it comes to narcissism is that the person we believed a narcissist to be, never existed. We were fooled from the beginning and we continued to be fooled. We develop cognitive dissonance which is two or more conflicting thoughts, or beliefs. And also a conflict between your mind and your heart, your thoughts and emotions. With cognitive dissonance you don’t know what is true. On the one hand you tell yourself “this person loves me,” and on the other hand you tell yourself “this person is not behaving as if he/she loves me. This behavior is not loving.”
So in the relationship itself there is a lot of confusion, self blame, denial, and cognitive dissonance arising from an uncertainty of what you are dealing with and what is true.
Often after you are devalued and discarded by a narcissistic the lid is blown off the illusion you have been living under. You can’t put things back where they were. The truth is coming out in a way you can’t deny it anymore. There is such a shattering to your reality that causes intense trauma.
Some people may feel relief at first when the narcissist leaves their life because they don’t have to deal with the day to day chaos and insanity. But then the reality of what they went through starts to set in and they find themselves going back over every detail of the relationship trying to sort out what the truth was. And this is when the PTSD symptoms really start to amp up. You are now in Post Trauma.
The common symptoms of what we call “Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome” is the same as PTSD. Obsession, rumination, flashbacks, anxiety, panic, depression, nightmares and even agoraphobia are some of the common PTSD symptoms experienced by those coming out of a narcissistically abusive relationship.
In my work with narcissistic abuse recovery, I have found a deep intuitive form of spiritual counseling and clinical hypnotherapy to be effective in treating PTSD. After a hypnotherapy session clients report feeling more relaxed and free then they have in a very long time. We use hypnotherapy to inform the body and the subconscious mind that the trauma is in the past and they can now relax and enjoy their life. It may take a few sessions to start to really feel better, but it is worth your investment in yourself.
If you are interested in finding out how Hypnotherapy can help you heal and recover from PTSD, please contact me.
Watch the video below or listen to the pocast above for more information on this topic.