How do we overcome depression in a depressed society? Depression is an epidemic affecting millions of people in our disconnected, denatured society. Psychiatry and Modern Medicine hand out anti-depressant medication like candy as if it were the solution, yet it is only a band-aide for a much deeper issue.
There are so many types of depression, including the type where someone really doesn’t realize they are depressed. It may feel that the color has been drained out of their life. They lose passion and motivation and don’t take pleasure in the things they once did.
Johann Hari, a journalist and author of the book Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression–and the Unexpected Solutions sought to find the reason so many people are depressed. Hari suffered from depression himself and started taking anti depressant medications at the age of 18. He tells us in his book:
“The primary cause of all this rising depression and anxiety is not in our heads. It is, I discovered, largely in the world, and the way we are living it. I learned there are at least nine proven causes of depression and anxiety”
Hari interviews dozens of social scientists around the world who’ve studied various aspects of depression and unhappiness. He concludes that what causes these conditions most of all is a lack of what we need to be happy, including the need to belong in a group, the need to be valued by other people, the need to feel like we’re good at something, and the need to feel like our future is secure.
Depression causes us to want to isolate and we don’t feel very energetic or enthusiastic about life. It can feel lonely and disconnected. We can get lost in an experience of grief and sadness. We can feel our life is meaningless and there is no real purpose. We can feel unsupported, unloved and unwanted in our life. It can feel we have reached a dead end and there is no place left to go. We can feel stuck. We can feel lost. We can even lose our ability to function in life.
With low level depression we can continue to function in life and go through the motions, but feel a sense of hopelessness and a lack of motivation or enthusiasm for life. We can feel tired and drained; lacking in vitality.
When we are in these states of depression, it can be difficult to name what is going on. We might say “I feel depressed,” or we might not even recognize that what we feel is depression. It might feel more like you are living your life in black and white.
When you reach levels of severe depression you may feel suicidal. You may develop a dependency on drugs or alcohol, or food. You may do nothing other than go to work, come home, eat, watch TV or be on the computer until bedtime and then attempt to sleep.
Loneliness and Isolation
Many people find themselves depressed after their breakup with a primary partner. Any break-up can be depressing. The main reason is that we lose a primary source of connection. So, whether that partner is a normal person, an addict or has a personality disorder like narcissism, he or she has still been a primary source of connection.
When you build your life around a significant other and suddenly that person is gone whether it be through death or separation, you have to adjust to the new “normal” which is going from two back to one.
When we find ourselves alone after having a partnership with another person, it is important to self-partner and foster a healthy, nourishing relationship with yourself.
Although self-love is important, we are also social creatures and we need connection with others. Not just occasional connection, but we need to have a social structure around us. This social structure is missing for so many people.
Our social structure gives us our sense of belonging. When we are partnered, we usually have a sense of belonging to that partner. If we have a family, we may feel a sense of belonging in that family. You may even feel a sense of belonging to a church or a group of some sort.
Many people are estranged from family due to childhood trauma and this disconnection carries into their other relationships. One can attempt to get out and be around people, but the aching loneliness within may not be appeased.
Being around people alone isn’t enough. We need to truly know how to connect to each other and our society has bred an incredible amount of disconnection. We plug into social media, the internet or our phones and unplug from each other.
Having a Sense of Purpose
We also hunger to have meaning in our lives. We need to have jobs that are fulfilling and give us a sense of purpose. But many people are just slaves to a system where they don’t really matter as a person. They are a number or a name without a face. People have become disposable and dispensable. We may be afraid to express our grievances at work for fear of being dismissed from our jobs, our source of income, which is tied to our survival.
We often stay in work situations that are death to our souls, because we need the income for our very survival. And many people find themselves without an income and wondering how they will survive.
Connection to the Natural World
Another thing Hari brings to our attention as a cause of depression is our disconnection to nature. We live in concrete jungles, padded by the walls of our home and offices. We don’t spend near enough time outdoors in nature. Since we are animals by our very nature, we belong outdoors. We were never meant to spend so much time in climate controlled boxes.
What is the Solution?
So How do we overcome depression? Connecting to ourselves, to each other and to nature is a great start. Get away from our computers, our cell phones and our desks long enough to look up. We need to have meaningful conversations, meaningful work and plenty of time outdoors in nature. We need to practice our relationship building skills and find ways to connect more within our own communities. We also need to bring our diets back to nature, eating organic, whole, plant based foods.
Doing these things can help to overcome depression. It would be wise to try connection before medication for a longer term solution to why you just don’t feel alive. Instead of seeing a therapist for why you are depressed. You might consider seeing a therapist for why you have difficulty or are avoiding connecting to others in a meaningful way. What your fears are around following your dreams and what prevents you from getting out into nature. Just making these small changes can have a large impact in how you feel.
