Narcissistic Abuse Healing

narcissistic abuse healng

Healing from narcissistic abuse is a journey with a lot of layers.  In my experience working with people who have experienced narcissistic abuse, they want to get out of pain fast.  But the only way out is through.  You have to move through the layers of pain and trauma so that you can come out the other end.

The PTSD is the hardest part of the healing journey.  There is typically a lot of anxiety, obsession and rumination.  There is a deep heart pain and feelings of betrayal.  It can be challenging to know how to move through all the layers and most often we need help from someone who does know how to guide us through the pain and trauma.

If you are going through a breakup with a significant other, it is important to know this isn’t just a breakup.  Friends and family members may think you are just going through a difficult breakup and maybe that you are taking it a bit too hard.  But it is not a typical breakup.  It is a shattering of your reality.  What you believed to be true is not true at all.  This can be very difficult to wrap your mind around.

When our reality is shattered it can be difficult to know what is true.  We grapple to understand what the relationship really was.  We remember the good times and the times we were devastated.  We may have believed the relationship was worth fighting for, but discovered the depth was only one-sided.

Narcissists are like shallow pools of water, more like mud puddles. They dry up very quickly.  There is no emotional depth, even if initially it seems there was.  They are emotionally shallow and their ability to love is severely limited.  But we don’t know this in the beginning.

Even when we see signs and red flags during the relationship, we dismiss them because we just don’t want to believe we are not really loved.  We often need to believe that the person we fell for in the beginning is real.  We need to believe the enthusiasm they had for us in the beginning is still in there somewhere.

Coming to terms with the new reality is a journey.  We have to come out of denial and come to acceptance of what is.  We need to work through the pain and trauma on a daily basis.  We need to keep breathing through the anxiety and insanity we are feeling.  We need to engage in extreme self-care and cultivate self-compassion and self-love.

The treatment by the narcissist is no indication of your own worth and value.  It has nothing to do with you.  You didn’t do anything wrong.  There is nothing wrong with you.  It is not your fault.

However, your recovery, your healing journey from narcissistic abuse is yours and yours alone.  You will need to take responsibility for it.  You can’t be waiting around for the narcissist to realize what he/she had or did and come back to make amends.  This is a waste of your time and energy.  Narcissistic people don’t make amends.  In their mind, they have done nothing wrong.

It is important to make your healing journey an absolute priority.  There is light at the end of the tunnel.  You can go through the dark night of the soul and experience a rebirth at the other end.  There is life after the death you are experiencing.  You need to know this and trust in this.  It is the promise of the light that will move you forward, through the pain and into the life you truly deserve.

There is healing from narcissistic abuse, and if you need support, I am here to support you.

Here are some books you might be interested in reading to help you on your journey.

If you want intuitive-counseling and/or hypnotherapy to help you through your process, this is also available.

 

About Kaleah LaRoche

Kaleah LaRoche is the Founder of Narcissism Free and has been working to support others in their recovery of narcissistic abuse since 2006. She has authored four books on the topic of narcissistic abuse, recovery, and traversing the dark night of the soul. A Clinical Hypnotherapist and Holistic Counselor since 1988, Kaleah brings her compassionate counseling skill and Hypnotherapy to assist in healing and recovery. Kaleah also has a popular podcast "Pandora's Box." You can go to pandoras-box-radio.com to listen.

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