The Scapegoat got its name from ancient religious traditions where a goat was symbolically loaded up with the sins of the community and then cast out into the wild to die. Now the goat was quite innocent and didn’t deserve its fate, but the people of the community needed to purge themselves of their negativity and so they unburdened themselves by casting the burden upon the innocent goat. Understanding the role of the Scapegoat will help you understand what to do when people blame you.
Most dysfunctional family systems cast at least one of the family members into the role of the scapegoat. The scapegoats are usually the most sensitive ones. They are often the most aware and even the healthiest emotionally. Because of their more sensitive, emotionally aware nature, they will often speak out about how they feel about something going on in the family. They break the unspoken rules in the family of “don’t talk, don’t trust, don’t feel.
The scapegoat may be the leak in the hose in a family, social or corporate system, where the repressed emotions find an outlet. Because they will often “trigger” others in the system, they are blamed for issues that really have nothing to do with them.
Blaming others is a way that one takes the focus off himself or herself. It is a great way to shuck one’s responsibility for the triggers that are coming from within.
As we get healthier, we learn how to identify our “triggers” and work with them. We learn about core wounds and how when these wounds are “triggered,” we can feel intense emotional discomfort. As a result, we may want to lash out at the one who is triggering us instead of going within and looking at what is actually being triggered.
Unfortunately, only a small percentage of our population actually understand this. Only a small percentage of our population go into recovery for drugs, alcohol, and codependency where they learn that the addiction is merely distracting them from what is really going on inside. Only a small percentage of our population are on a true spiritual growth path, where they don’t just talk spiritual jargon, but they do the hard work of inner healing.
Since only a small percentage of our population are aware of terms like “core wounds and triggers,” the percentage that doesn’t understand family dynamics and the accompanying issues, will be subject to expressing their fear and pain unconsciously.
Personality Disordered people are the worst when it comes to projecting their inner reality onto others and blaming them for something the personality disordered individual is actually responsible for.
When there is a smear campaign happening in a family or social setting, there is often a personality disordered individual at the helm. This is someone who avoids responsibility for their own issues by deflecting and projecting them onto an innocent person. If they can get others to agree with them or join forces with them in finding fault with the target, they feel more justified or vindicated in their campaign to hurt the innocent person.
So, what if you are the victim of such a smear campaign? What if you are the one being blamed? I know this role well, as I have so often been scapegoated in my life. It is a difficult role to be in because the very nature of being a scapegoat is to be loaded up with the burden’s others are disowning and being casts out of the family or community.
Those of us who are blamed, often are not in a position to defend ourselves because by the time, we realize what has gone down, the damage is already done. We’ve already been cast in a negative light and the scapegoater, has already managed to gain support for his or her point of view. We can’t very well re-enter that community trying to convince others of our innocence. It is too late for this.
To find out more about what you can do if you are being scapegoated listen to the full podcast on Pandoras Box Radio.
